Who you calling a…


Back in the day, if you wanted to take a girl from 0 to 100 real quick, there were two things you could do. #1, talk about her mama. #2, call her a bitch. You want to see a fun lively conversation go south quickly, call a girl by “that” name. Instant silence would fall over the group and all eyes would be on the victim, eagerly awaiting her response. Culturally this word was taboo, an automatic fight starter.


Fast forward 20+ years and we’ve become desensitized to the word and it’s negative meaning. So much so that we often use it to describe ourselves, our girlfriends and even more disappointing our daughters. We’ve taken a word  defined as

A female canine animal, especially a dog.
• A woman considered to be mean, overbearing, or contemptible.
• A person who is submissive to another, usually by performing menial or unpleasant tasks.
• A man considered to be weak or contemptible.


An attempted to give it a more positive or casual meaning.

“Yes, bitch you’re working that dress”
• “Bitch, no she didn’t say that to you”

We’ve even gotten to the point where we use the term to describe ourselves.

• “I was such a bitch when Brian called me back”
• “I’m a boss bitch making moves”


The term had made it into my sister circle. I am embarrassed to say I’ve uttered the words myself. This year when I began my BLJ (best life journey) and started raising my awareness of myself and my daily encounters, I found myself cringing every time I heard the word. But I remained silent about my discomfort. Maybe I was overreacting. After all, we are a positive group! We have supported each other through failed relationships, ailing parents, career disappointments, you name it. We provide honest feedback and that extra push when needed. So what harm could “that” word do when used in such well-intentioned ways?

“Pleasant words are as a honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones”. Proverbs: 16:24

Every word you speak has power. They can build you (and those around you) up or tear you down. They can empower you or crush your dreams. Forget the term, “You are what you eat”. Sis, you are what you speak! The words you put out in the universe create your life. For better or for worse, the way you speak mirrors who you are and touches everyone around you. What kind of energy are we creating in our lives when WE call ourselves b’s? We get offended when men use that term to describe us, but we teach people how to address us with the words we speak. Your words impact how others perceive and treat you. Do the words you speak create a positive self – image? When you speak, will people view you as someone who values and respects themselves and others?

Speak no evil.jpg

Consider your word choices. When you talk to and about yourself, are your words empowering? Do they speak life into your world? Maybe your vocabulary could use an update. Your thoughts, the words you speak, and the things you focus your energy on create your life.



Be intentional



1 thought on “Who you calling a…

  1. This is so true. Thank you for the reminder ❤️


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